humourists

Dec
02
Posted by Daniel at 10:09 pm

Here’s a cut from my next book. It’s the opening, in fact. From Chapter One, “Cracker.”

“Hello there! Mr. Knox?”

“Yes,” I said.

My name is Calvin Luther Knox.

But everyone calls me Cracker.

“I’ve been searching all over for you!”

“And now your search is complete, sir.” I bowed.

“Are you the one they call—Cracker?”

See?

“Yes,” I said.

“Oh. Well then. Good.”

He mopped his forehead with a red kerchief. I looked at him until he started talking.

“There’s a problem, it seems.”

“Splendid. There could have been an actual problem.”

“No, sir.” He looked down and scratched. “I mean, it seems there’s a problem because there is a problem. Which is why it seems that way.”

I slapped the table. “That’s another matter entirely then!”