Earth day?
Please.
That’s a holiday for antihumans and suckers.
You know what’s more my style?
Dominion Over The Earth Day.
That’s right. It comes from here:
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1.26-28)
Okay, but how do you celebrate it?
How to Celebrate Dominion Over The Earth Day
So, while the antihumans and suckers are killing themselves to spare the earth some CO2, here’s what you’re going to do:
- Plant something
- Pull something up
- Eat something you grew yourself
- Eat something someone else grew for you and kindly had shipped to your local megamart
- Pet your dog
- Improve your property
- Improve your neighbor’s property
- Trade property
- Go fishing for food
- Go hunting for food
- Go to the grocery store
- Do the yard for goodness sake
- Have babies
Awesome. Celebrate.
Fill the earth. Subdue it. Have dominion.